The "Great" Debate, part 2

2) Greatness is borne out of enduring hardship, and staying morally principled.
In our society of attributing one’s worth to their physical appearance and or accumulation of trappings, one very underrated quality is one’s inner strength. The main reason being, no one can really see this virtue in another without knowing them. Another reason why we don’t give much play to inner strength is because….it’s hard! It’s hard to do the right thing-for somebody else-especially when we don’t get rewarded for it. But that’s where greatness germinates.

Let’s call the seed of greatness self-control. Now, I have seen many definitions of self-control but my overall favorite is: “Knowing that you can do something, but deciding not to do it.” So in essence, it’s mind-over-muscle. You are emperor of your impulses; your impulses don’t employ you. You are ruler of your reactions, your reactions don’t rule you. The great thing about self-control is that we have instances in our everyday lives where we get to improve upon, what I like to cal, our “do-right” muscle. Just like regular muscles, our do-right muscle has to be exercised. If not, than in the day of adversity, we will faint under the sheer weight of the pressure and temptation. We need our “do-right” muscle to resist the pressure to cave in to our emotions or reactions. Take for instance a temperamental parent of a young child. If they are driving down a major highway, and some jerk cuts them off, how should that parent respond now that they have little ears around? Self-Control! How should a young man react when he’s given the notion that he doesn’t have to report “all” of his income on his taxes, especially because he’s financially challenged right now? Self-Control! When we make little, great decisions, we are rep-ping our “do-right” muscle. So much so that when a big situation comes, we can endure the pressure and come out doing the right thing. But we haven’t achieved greatness yet! We need one more element: selflessness.

Doing the right thing, at the right time, for the right reason, the right way is called integrity. That’s a noteworthy virtue in and of itself. But to do the right thing, at the right time, for the right reason, the right way, under extreme and adverse conditions produces greatness! Let’s take for instance the story of a modern-day hero Nelson Mandela. Essentially, he purposefully extended his jail time to 27 years until his people we free from apartheid. What strength! What self-control! What selflessness ! It’s hard enough to do the right thing under adverse pressure for ourselves, but to go though vicissitudes for somebody else’s benefit only? Whew! That’s a tall order. But it’s doable! And needed! In today’s society of “me first” and “looking out for numero uno”, people only seem to give you a weird look when you’re doing something solely for somebody else’s benefit, while you suffer. But don’t let ‘em get to you! There’s never an apology for doing the right thing, at the right time, for the right reason, the right way for somebody else!

Remember: We have opportunities to build our integrity in everyday instances; thereby exercising our “do-right” muscle. Keep in mind this quote: "He who controls others is powerful. He who masters himself is stronger still." But it’s only when we plant this fully developed seed of integrity into the soil of external pressure and temptation (especially for somebody else) that it yields greatness. The sad thing is that most people don’t recognize greatness in the making. Most won’t even acknowledge it, sometimes because it makes them feel a certain way. But greatness doesn’t seek attention. It doesn’t look for compliments or reassurance from others in the process, or after. Sometimes, it goes unnoticed for years after the event is long said and done.

Stay tuned to part 3 for when greatness is established!

The Next Great….?

Come on. Admit it. We Americans are a society of star-gazers. Dare I even say “star-worshippers”? Whether you participate or not, as a culture, we glorify and sometimes even deify celebrities. This is especially true for those of us who pay close attention to pop-culture. (guilty). We have no problem with setting somebody up on a pedestal and attributing their worth to inspire us or make us feel good in some way. I believe it’s also true that the quicker we hail them, the quicker they lose their spot when they disappoint us. Though we might be forgiving personally, collectively we often practice un-forgiveness. Overall, we are in the habit of immortalizing people, and most often for very good reasons, affixing them as heroes and heroine, if not of the land, than of our hearts.

My question to everyone is: What makes a person great? We are quick to make people famous, stars, heroes, celebrities, idols, icons, legends, great, etc., but we don’t have a set standard of what makes a person qualify for these revered categories. (At least not in pop culture or the media). So then to qualify, it becomes every man for his own opinion. And similar to the voting process, the person with the most similar opinions about them, wins the overall favorable status. But does that mean they truly qualify? So, essentially, it’s arguable and debatable whether or not some stars should acquire the status they have.

But what I want to argue today is the issue of greatness. What makes a person great?Well, it is my fondest belief that greatness:
1. Finds those who are not looking for it
2. Is borne out of enduring hardship being morally principled
3. Is established when you die in the process

Lesson #1. Finds those who are not looking for it.
In the rap music industry, there was/is a debate whether a living great is Jay-Z or Li’l Wayne. If you’re not familiar with either, I can attest that they both are very talented. But as it pertains to greatness, you have to break open more and stringent criteria. My only caveat with Li’l Weezy is that he’s looking and trying to be “great.” Similar to Kanye West, they’ve made it known that one of their main goals is to be great. My question to them, and any other, would be: How dare you impose your will upon the opinion of the masses? Greatness has to be given to you! I mean, you could call yourself great names all day, but what if we all don’t agree? Then you become what we commonly call as a “legend in his own mind.”

Side note: Greatness is not to be confused with popularity. Just Blaze, another popular music figure, when asked who does he think is the "greatest. Who is the hottest ", correctly asserted that they are two different terms. Being "hot" (experiencing temporary, yet significant progress and success) is very different from being "great" (long term success, a history of successes and recognition). It's very possible to be hot, without being great.

But, the reason why certain people are great are because they’re not looking for it. I learned a “great” lesson that good leaders are people who work on something that’s bigger than them or their name. Therefore, even if and when they die, the work will continue. So tell me what’s bigger: trying to be the best entertainer or inspiring mankind and generations to come? I know one particular artist whose primary goal is win a Grammy. Actually, what musician wouldn’t want to win that coveted prize? But I feel like their vision is too short. Go beyond Grammy! Go beyond accolades and recognition! Go to the sphere where you can change the way the world thinks, acts and does in a single song! That’s greatness! Ever heard of that phrase that says, “Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you’ll be among the stars!”? True words indeed. If your goal and/or dream is fairly attainable in your lifetime, then its too short! But if your aspiration is gi-normous than it’s perfect! Mainly because even if you never reach that goal, your legacy will continue in the hands of another, and your name will live on (in a good way, I hope). The main point is: in your life’s pursuit, don’t target on greatness. Go Beyond. Go higher! Greatness will find you!
Stay tuned for part 2.

R U The 1?

In this society of forward thinkers, we are increasingly more aware of the purpose and meaning of life. Words like "destiny" and "purpose" are now part of the contemporary school of thought, more than any other time in history. Whether we hear messages in the churches, or read positive or spiritual material, people are accepting the idea that life, not only has meaning, but the meaning of can be ascertained.

Let me start with dating. In my short 30+ years on the planet, I'm seeing a transition in society from, marrying whoever you're dating, to seeking for your soul-mate. Now, there's still a large percentage who marry for x number of reasons that do not include being their soul-mate. But there's an increasing number of singles who are turned on to the notion that there is a person who they're "destined" to be with. Some people happen to find them, while others wait prayerfully for them to come. Not to be confused with "hopeless romantics" who wish their s.o. will ride in on a white horse, these "soul-mate-searchers" realize that their person may not be flawless, but, they will have everything they need. This is why the rash in dating, phone, and online services. Match.com, amongst many, many others, furnish the idea that "The One" is out there. Obviously, these persons who are waiting for their soul's counterpoint are people who are willing to delay their gratification. Some can't. Some, out of personal insecurities, think they're not deserving or worthy, to be blessed with such a gift, and they cash in for the nearest thing paying them any attention. Whether a person believes in "the one" theory or not, one thing is certain: More and more people are not settling anymore. I believe that this is another cause for the high number of divorces. People, mid-life, are not only realizing what they really need out of a partner (after making life decisions in their "roaring 20's"), but they're also discovering that the person that they betrothed, or simply had kids with, seemed like a good idea at the time.

This argument is easily transferable to career pathing as well. Fading are the days where people are accepting careers simply for the money or benefits. With dozens of reports of stress related conditions linked to the workplace, people are starting to wake up and realize, "Am I supposed to be HERE? " People, just like in finding their soulmate, are more interested in doing what they were created to do, rather than simply fulfilling a position.(Here's where it gets personal)There I was. In a prestigious corporate job, making great money for a single guy.....unhappy! What does one do? Do I give up certainty for uncertainty? Do I sacrifice dollars for destiny? (Sigh) That's a question I currently face as I conclude my cushy teaching job to follow youth leadership development. But to me, personal satisfaction and fulfillment can't be measured in a yearly salary. I'm Heaven-bent on finding the vocation to which I was put on this Earth to do. I really do believe this!

I've heard that in life, you have to play the hand that you're dealt.......BS! True, life will deliver you some monkey-wrenches and throw some curve balls. But I also believe in grabbing life by the horns!! We can't dictate or determine everything that happens to us, but we sure can determine our response to those things!! So back to the card analogy: yes, we may get a "bad" hand, but I'm sure card experts will tell you that they've worked with, and won, with a bad hand before. Its all in how you play or bluff!! But my message to you, don't be so ready to accept the options given to you. As human beings, we're response-able. Unlike the animal kingdom who strictly go by instinct, we're able to intelligently respond to any stimuli given to us. So whether it comes to finding a mate (if you're still single) don't settle for what you see only. Believe! Same with your career. There's something that you were put on this earth to do. You may have to do some introspection to discover what you excel in. And if you're current job doesn't match, I challenge you (not to quit right now) but do your homework and follow your star. I heard a comparison that not doing something you love is like having a hole in your heart. It'll never be patched until you find your thing! Believe!

Wish Vs. Dream

Short answer: A wish is a fleeting, momentary desire usually based on what we see externally. A dream is our soul's desire spoken to us through our subconscious. Also, a wish, just like candles on a birthday cake, can be blown away. A dream is like that trick B-day candle: it can't!!

Long Answer: Okay, first of all, when I'm talking dreams, I'm not talking about you ate bad pizza the night before and now you're on the train with a traveling circus and your brother is the ringmaster. Succinctly said, a dream is your soul's wish/desire. Keep in mind that this desire is pure, beneficial, and always helping mankind in some fashion. It is not selfish, greedy, or impatient. But most importantly, it is real! Wishes, all well and good, are usually externally motivated; based on something we see. We wish for a better world, more money, a better house, car, I wish that problematic person would go away, etc. But just like your bedsheets, wishes change every so often. A dream can't!!A dream....(sigh)...is a thing of beauty.

First of all, it is my fondest belief that it is God's blueprint for your soul. When He created your soul, He put some specific desires in your heart and soul. Our great mystery is discovery. In this life, we can get so turned around or so distracted that its hard to know what's in our soul. Then there are some who have a notion, but its not completely clear yet. But no matter if you don't have a clue, you have a clue, or you know full well, a dream will NEVER die! No matter how many haters come your way, no matter how much life takes a whoopin on you, no matter how much you ignore it yourself, YOUR DREAM WILL NOT DIE. That's why I compared it to that trick B-Day candle, it cannot be extinguished. As a matter of fact, the only way to kill a dream is to kill the person. (MLK) Yes, even sitting in the prison of depression, despair, and loneliness, if you look hard enough, you'll see that your dream is your companion. It's your vision when the lights are turned out. Your dream is all your own. It is not shared with any one else's. Someone else may compliment what you have in your heart to do, but yours is irreplaceable.

The last thing I can encourage you to do is to FOLLOW YOUR DREAM!! Don't chase after wishes or things you can see. That'll only lead to to temporary happiness. Dreams are fulfilling, when pursued. Stay true to your dream. Don't be dismayed. Remember: Your dream is humanitarian. It will in some way, shape, or form be benevolent to mankind. It is not selfish. Follow Your Dream!Quite honestly, my occupational door didn't open up until I took Henry David Thorough's advice when he said, "Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you imagined." And let me leave with Eleanor Roosevelt's quote. If you want a guarantee to see the future, well, "The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams."

A New Black American Hero

As I talk with youth and teens throughout DC, I get a very real sense of who their pop-culture icons are. And 99.99% of the time, the pictures they have on their Myspace, the names they have on their notebooks and on their lips are largely rappers, TV & movie stars, musicians and sports celebrities. Unfortunately in all of these professions, one's talent can outshine their intellect. We might get a sense of their business savvy (Russell Simmons, Diddy, Jay-Z, etc) but there is no public indication of their mental prowess. Even with the stars that were mentioned parenthetically, there is an over-arching inference that says, "I gotta be cool. I gotta have swag." OR "It's all about making more money."

Now I realize that politicians have their hangups as well. But at the heart of a true politician.....(insert Obama)....is the general concern and welfare of other people. Actually, politicians are public servants. Their primary concern is people. They're in office to take care of the needs of people.

So in this instance, we now have a AA figure who is not publically concerned with "gettin dat money" or trash talking and trying to win a championship. This is a smart black man who is trying to make change for the benefit of the American people. Sidenote: I realize that he's not the 1st smart black public figure in our generation. But going back to the last 20-30 years, nobody ( not Colin Powell, Jesse Jackson, etc) has entered into "pop culture", is widely recognized and is respected and accepted by all youth the way Obama is!